Tue, 24 Mar 2020 22:01:41 -0700WeeblyTue, 30 Jul 2013 18:35:20 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/change-of-addressI've been blogging for the past two years for Excelligence. For current bi-monthly blogs, please visit :http://www.blog.discountschoolsupply.com/elyse-jacobs/






From August 1, 2013 blog:

“But I don’t knooooow the marriage dance,” the 3 year old lamented, interrupting the ”wedding” in the dramatic play area. “Now I can’t get married!”

The wedding party stood frozen. What would happen next?  I continued to observe as the “groom” stepped forward saying, “It’s easy. I’ll teach you.” He gently took her hand.

She began to follow his lead and soon they were co-creating their dance. The others smiled and went back to work, laying down a paper aisle for the reunited couple.

Children often naturally mentor each other. We, their teachers and parents, can support and encourage them by noticing.




]]>Fri, 19 Aug 2011 15:53:09 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/taxi-magicAs a parent, patience is something you can never have too much of. My lessons in cultivating this have continued for decades. Each time I believe myself sufficiently patient,another life story comes my way.
I was waiting for a taxi to take me from one city event to the next. I was already late and there wasn't an empty taxi in sight. The corners were lined with people also waiting, as I asked for help. Inner guidance walked me to another block that I'd not have previously considered.
As I ran, a bicyclist's yellow jacket caught my eye. Her face came into focus, I recognized it to be the smiling one of a colleague arriving home from work. As my anxiety poured forth, she took charge, looking for her Taxi Magic app and more reliable service to my dinner date. 
I'd like to say that the taxi arrived immediately but, it didn't. I still arrived late although no longer anxious  What I've learned about that episode from this morning's journaling was invaluable. But,that's another story. ]]>Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:34:08 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/dragons I'm reminded of being with a young student/friend this weekend on a quest to replace a wooden figure eaten by her little dog. It was a sunbird but, she now wanted a dragon. Her mom and I had taken her through several stores with no success. She sensed the expedition coming to a close and lamented:
"I need a miracle."  
"I have a photo of a sign that was around the corner from your home. A cardboard sign that read, Need A Miracle."
I showed it to her and suggested another store, Tibetan, that was nearby.
She searched and eventually found her miracle, a small wooden Dragon that she immediately loved.
"I found a miracle, I found a miracle," she chanted walking by a large statue of Ganesh.
"I need a miracle, too," I said aloud, following her lead.
And from what I thought to be Ganesh's mouth but, turned out to come from the woman kneeling before him, came the answer, "Pray."
"Pray," she repeated, in case I missed the message.
]]>Sun, 24 Oct 2010 21:06:13 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/grace-has-a-fine-sense-of-humorLeaving a coaching session where the child's parent had entered the play, I was smiling with the insights acquired. From around the corner, a painted taxi careened and came to an abrupt halt in my path.
Forced away from my thoughts on the fascinating parent-child session, I read the sign on the taxi's opening door: "You're never too old to play."
]]>Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:13:49 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/when-to-hold-em-when-to-fold-emParenting is a life-long practice. As children grow and become independent, there are continual decisions to be made regarding interaction. Deciding when to offer advice and comfort; and when to stand back and observe their self-reliance is a tricky one. It's helpful for me to know that while trying out one strategy, I can always change my mind, mid-stream, when I feel an inner push.
]]>Sun, 03 Oct 2010 15:43:49 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/and-what-about-gratitude    Waking one recent morning with an unfamiliar voice speaking to me from inside my own head, "And what about gratitude," I paid attention.
     I'd fallen asleep worrying and asking for help. In the past I've had amazing dreams that have helped me uncover my own inner wisdom. But, this was different, it wasn't a dream. It was a disembodied voice asking me, "And what about gratitude?" 
     I woke up, walked into the park and all along the way gave thanks for everything in my path. 
     Simple reminders can have beneficial effects on our attitudes and our lives.]]>Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:01:11 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/mirror-of-forgivenessSmudge neglected
on the mirror of forgiveness
Cloud hands circle softly
I watch,
It disappears.]]>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:18:31 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/forgivenessWhen we see ourselves failing in our parenting, it's important to forgive ourselves immediately. Not forget, not stop looking to change our behavior or attitude but, forgive.
I'd been out of balance and trying to let go. In clearing out an area of my studio, I literally uncovered a mirrored tile from many years ago.On the tile I'd written:

Smudge neglected on the mirror of forgiveness,
Cloud hands circle gently,
I watch it disappear.

With synchronicity, came the self acceptance I'd been looking for.]]>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:16:34 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/taming-the-inner-tyrantDiscovered that the inner urgency, that compelled me to judge my chosen efforts and find them lacking, was ancient history pushing against modern choice. My friend Coach Dayton suggested I use my puppets to work out the struggle. I used a witch puppet as my Inner Tyrant.  As I exaggerated her words and gestures, my daughter's visiting cat playfully  nudged the puppet. Soon both puppet and cat were rolling around my studio. And I was laughing out loud for the first time all day.
Some days you have to exaggerate rather than contain your Inner Tyrant. And in doing so, keep her from acting out on your kids or ruining a lovely foggy day.
]]>Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:42:38 GMThttp://www.toolsofpeace.com/blog/picking-up-your-marbles-and-going-homeThis morning's first response to disappointment was to pick up my proverbial marbles and go home. As I was home, I decided to use the energy of disappointment and create something new. I've been exploring breath in it's infinite manifestations, I began there.
I inhaled my connection to limitless choices. I exhaled my disappointment.  As I continued, an image of my much younger self appeared, jumping up and down and yelling, "It's not fair!"
I wanted to agree with her but, practiced reflective listening on myself:. validating her feelings and encouraging her to speak on what wasn't fair. It wasn't long before, feeling deeply heard, she began to deeply breathe with me.
Practicing on ourselves the techniques of emotional coaching that we use with our own children, helps parents manage their emotions, as well.
]]>