Forgiveness
In the Parenting Tools of Peace Box, forgiveness is one of our top tools. Forgiveness is not forgetting. It is not releasing the need to change behavior. Forgiveness is letting go of those large and small mistakes that we go over and over in our minds.
We let go so that we can be present in our lives and the lives of those we love. If we are preoccupied and distracted, we will miss amazing opportunities of parenting and daily living. Our children sense our absence and will often act up to get your fuller attention. Or some will distance themselves, blaming themselves. And if you thought your first mistake was large, add guilt to it and see how much it weighs! And that's the motivation to stop: releasing this weight of perfectionism we carry. While we're lugging it through life, we are missing out on the joys of parenting.
It's taken me a long time to realize that worrying about past mistakes does not help. Initial mining of that nugget of worry is essential for life's lessons. Understanding that leads to self knowledge, relationship building and strategies for change are important results of worrying an issue. It's when you've learned all you need from it, for now, and are unable to put it aside, that the value of our mistake becomes muddied. Often, our obsession to understand, and never have it happen again, may be our motivation.
There need be many tools of peace in our parenting tool box. Each of us adds those that we have found to be easily accessible and simple to use. Deep breaths, meditation, exercise, talking with family and friends are all important tools of inner peace.
But without self forgiveness, even our smallest mistakes come back to haunt us. Learning from our mistakes is a wonderful tool. But, by beating ourselves up with our mistakes, we turn a helpful tool into a weapon.
Would you like to peek into my overstuffed parenting tools of peace box? Here are five more tools. You are welcome to use any that might be helpful? Or invent your own.
1. Kindness: I allow myself the same learning curve and encouragement that I give children.
2. Curiosity: I'm matter of fact when I discover another mistake. I attempt to be curious or excited about it. "Another mistake! I must be learning something new!"
3. Worry Time: When I find myself unable to let go, I give myself 10 minutes of intense Worry Time as often as needed. I think about it in every possible way, with all potential consequences. Then ask myself, "Is this likely to happen? What is the more logical consequence?"
4. Lesson Replay: I look for a possible reason for having made this mistake at this time. Is it lack of knowledge? What was I feeling. I then play out this same situation with a different outcome in my mind.
5.Old Pattern Drawer: I ask myself if this worry feels familiar? Is this an old pattern that is being activated? I like to acknowledge these and then file in the Old Pattern drawer. My Old Pattern drawer is very detailed. When I find myself unable to let go, I often see an image of it appearing in my imagination. This reminds me of why the worry is so relentless, and I file it away. If I need to look at it again, when I sense a pattern rather than isolated incident, I can easily find it by taking our that drawer.
Creating a tool of Peace Box helps us maintain both inner and outer peace. What's in your parenting tools of peace box?
http://www.toolsofpeace.com offers free parenting tools of inner and outer peace. Life tools of emotional freedom are offered as well as parenting skills. We have suggestions for creating quality time every time with very young children. Elyse Jacobs with a background in education, art and art therapy developed the Peaceful Puppet Program 24 years ago in a San Francisco preschool. She continues to find delight in working with young children and helps parents do the same.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elyse_Jacobs
We let go so that we can be present in our lives and the lives of those we love. If we are preoccupied and distracted, we will miss amazing opportunities of parenting and daily living. Our children sense our absence and will often act up to get your fuller attention. Or some will distance themselves, blaming themselves. And if you thought your first mistake was large, add guilt to it and see how much it weighs! And that's the motivation to stop: releasing this weight of perfectionism we carry. While we're lugging it through life, we are missing out on the joys of parenting.
It's taken me a long time to realize that worrying about past mistakes does not help. Initial mining of that nugget of worry is essential for life's lessons. Understanding that leads to self knowledge, relationship building and strategies for change are important results of worrying an issue. It's when you've learned all you need from it, for now, and are unable to put it aside, that the value of our mistake becomes muddied. Often, our obsession to understand, and never have it happen again, may be our motivation.
There need be many tools of peace in our parenting tool box. Each of us adds those that we have found to be easily accessible and simple to use. Deep breaths, meditation, exercise, talking with family and friends are all important tools of inner peace.
But without self forgiveness, even our smallest mistakes come back to haunt us. Learning from our mistakes is a wonderful tool. But, by beating ourselves up with our mistakes, we turn a helpful tool into a weapon.
Would you like to peek into my overstuffed parenting tools of peace box? Here are five more tools. You are welcome to use any that might be helpful? Or invent your own.
1. Kindness: I allow myself the same learning curve and encouragement that I give children.
2. Curiosity: I'm matter of fact when I discover another mistake. I attempt to be curious or excited about it. "Another mistake! I must be learning something new!"
3. Worry Time: When I find myself unable to let go, I give myself 10 minutes of intense Worry Time as often as needed. I think about it in every possible way, with all potential consequences. Then ask myself, "Is this likely to happen? What is the more logical consequence?"
4. Lesson Replay: I look for a possible reason for having made this mistake at this time. Is it lack of knowledge? What was I feeling. I then play out this same situation with a different outcome in my mind.
5.Old Pattern Drawer: I ask myself if this worry feels familiar? Is this an old pattern that is being activated? I like to acknowledge these and then file in the Old Pattern drawer. My Old Pattern drawer is very detailed. When I find myself unable to let go, I often see an image of it appearing in my imagination. This reminds me of why the worry is so relentless, and I file it away. If I need to look at it again, when I sense a pattern rather than isolated incident, I can easily find it by taking our that drawer.
Creating a tool of Peace Box helps us maintain both inner and outer peace. What's in your parenting tools of peace box?
http://www.toolsofpeace.com offers free parenting tools of inner and outer peace. Life tools of emotional freedom are offered as well as parenting skills. We have suggestions for creating quality time every time with very young children. Elyse Jacobs with a background in education, art and art therapy developed the Peaceful Puppet Program 24 years ago in a San Francisco preschool. She continues to find delight in working with young children and helps parents do the same.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elyse_Jacobs