Preschoolers Play Fair
"No collecting without connecting," was created from a need to slow the flow of open ended materials pouring from the Expressive Arts Cart into the children's pockets and cubbies. Drawers filled to the brim with sparkly and shiny treasures; ribbons, yarn, paper hearts and recycled materials of all kinds are very tempting, particularly for preschoolers.
The program is developed around the concept of choosing what you like and connecting it in any way you can thing of. Some use colored masking tape, wire, string, pipe cleaners, glue sticks or plastic needles and thread. Skills are developed, as needed, through the necessity of connection. And yes, this is a metaphor for the program's foundation: peaceful connection between children.
In the beginning, 25 years ago, observing the pleasure of 3 year olds stuffing their pockets with cherished materials was joyful. Later, when I attempted to apply some limits to their collecting, those furtive glances, while standing stiffly at the door, saying wide-eyed good-byes multiple times, telegraphed their ignoring of my limit setting. And caused me inwardly to smile.
As the bins of stuff emptied faster than our incoming supply budget, my pondering of how to slow down their grasp turned into the rhyme: "No collecting without connecting." If they wanted to take the materials home, rather than just play with them in class, they'd need to connect them to each other. Not easy to be 3 or 4 and connect with wire or tape or string all they'd collected. This seemed to slow down the fistfuls of materials leaving the art cart. What they couldn't or tired of connecting was returned to the bins.
As the core of the program was peace education, negotiating was an accepted tool. If they wanted to take unconnected material home, they'd tell me what project they wanted to work on or why they really needed it. One little girl told me her grandfather was getting married and that he had told her he needed ALL the wedding stickers.
As the children's negotiating skills grew, I began to see the benefit of other lessons to be learned. The older children, the 5 year olds, moved on to fairness. They'd discuss how many jewels each could have today. They'd count the available plastic gems and the amount of children who wanted them. We'd sit down and discuss what was fair. It became more complex as new children entered the room and wanted the jewels that had already been distributed. Or who would share what they had with someone who did not have any pink fabric or green tape or gold buttons?
They became creative solution finders. All the important lessons they were learning in their classrooms, in their homes, were relearned and learned again, daily, in Expressive Arts. Personal vs. group needs, sharing, fairness, working things out, maintaining friendships while negotiating became a daily part of the program.
When negotiating became too painful and friendships were mercilessly manipulated, we worked on agreements. We'd look at the jewels in the treasure drawer of the art cart and decide what kind of a day it was. Was it a two jewel day, a five jewel day? Because they'd made the decision together, most children kept the agreement. Those that strayed were reminded by the other children: "No collecting without connecting."
And while rules and laws are big with 5 year olds, some are made to be broken. One 5 jewel day, a child held up her design saying, "I really need just one more." She showed us how she'd glued the jewels onto the paper. There were three rows. The first and second row had two jewels, the last but one.
"Yes, I can see what you'd like to do," I said, as a hush came over the room. "It would be all right with me if everyone agreed.
No one disagreed. No one shouted, "Not fair!" No one demanded that they too needed just one more jewel. Not that day, anyhow. And the little girl chose one more jewel and glued it onto her paper.
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